everyday is saturday night, but i can't wait till sunday morning.

well. i've decided to start a journal. now i've tried this many a-time before with mediore results at best. the reason generally being that i forget i have a journal and if i remember i have one i don't want to write everything down, that my dear readers is the reason i have a blog in the first place. everything in my life is changing at the moment. a person that i thought would be in my life forever is completely gone, and apparently.. never coming back. i did some things that im not proud of, but not ashamed of either, i guess you could say im okay that i did it, just not fully comfortable with it yet. i know that sounds very confusing, but thats just me. i refuse to say anything with too many details on this blog, just cus anyone in the world can read it. like my mom, if she ever figures out how to do more thanb shop online and check her email. i find that im kinda uncomfortable around a lot of people lately. and i'm keeping a giant secret that i will probably take to the grave. me and one other person know. and im rather upset at myself about this one. but i refuse to tell anyone. i don't know when this blog became my portal to the world. but i've been posting ambiguous secrets and hopes and dreams and nightmares here almost unknowingly.